Trying to share Hersh’s mom’s words (above) everywhere I can, AND I wrote this list back in October 14, 2015. I think I had written and said different versions of this list many times over the course of many years. Here it is on my blog now.
I can’t believe I have to say this, but here we go:
I can support Israel, call myself a Zionist, and still disagree with things that happen in Israel.
I can love Israel and fear for Israelis’ safety, and still think critically about how they protect themselves from terrorism.
I can love Israel and my Israeli friends and family and simultaneously care about Palestinian people and people who live in Gaza and anyone who HAMAS victimizes anywhere. NB: the fierce women of Iraq: https://www.jpost.com/j-spot/article-765306!
If you are reading this post and you are surprised, please go read more about the situation. Maybe try +972 Magazine or ALBI. Our buddies at NPR and the New York Times don’t always present all sides of the story – partially because the story is 2,000 years old and because there are not only two sides to this story.
If you are surprised that I am posting this, please know that I don’t want to have to, but every once in a while, I am surprised and disappointed by how ignorant/naive/hateful some smart people are. (Sorry for the run-on sentence.)
FYI: If you are inspired to write a comment about how terrible I am or how I’ve “learned the wrong lesson from October 7, 2023,” please save your time/energy. I’m not going to read it. Here’s a quarter. Call someone who wants to hear from you.
I’ve been holding on to this criticism for a long time – even before October 7, 2023 – criticism for a lot of liberal thinkers who seem new to the issues surrounding the State of Israel and the occupations. I understand that a lot of liberal Americans see this recent war as a war of strong, bully Israel wiping out Palestinians. I want to lay out some nuances of this particular situation in regards to genocide. I know there are people out there
As someone whose family members found refuge in the Land of Israel between 1920 and 1930, I’ve been invested in the history of Israel for a long time. In tenth grade, my American family went to Israel to reunite with our Israeli family members. My father’s mother had not been able to contact her cousin and best friend since 1921, when she boarded a ship to Ellis Island. You can probably understand that my introduction to Israel was about gratitude for this miracle, especially knowing most of their/our family members had died because of terror in Europe. The Nazis and their allies worked hard to wipe out the Jews. Some of us survived.
I’m a big, fat, liberal, loudmouth American Jewish Zionist feminist. Of course most of my Israeli best friends are liberals who protested against Netanyahu long, long before this war. I have Israeli cousins and Israeli friends who are also active progressives like me. When Trump won the first time, one of my Israeli best friends said: “Now you know how I feel.” Of course I have always hated Netanyahu like it’s my job. Of course my heart breaks for ALL people who suffer. Of course I pray for a cease fire and all the hostages home safe.
Some American liberals accuse American Zionists like me of quibbling over the definition of genocide because we don’t want to look closely at the horrible situation. (See below for a useful definition.) To me, that take sounds tone deaf. Many of us don’t use that word casually because we have had to look closely at systematic violence before.
I encourage you to consider the resonance of the word genocide with European Jews who barely escaped Nazi death camps to make it to relative safety in Israel. I think it’s hard for Jewish Israelis and their allies to hear the word genocide applied to Israel while so many Israelis live peacefully next to Israeli Arabs, Israeli Muslims, and Palestinian Israelis – inside the State of Israel.
I know that the Nazi attempt at genocide is not the only example, but it’s the one Americans and Europeans seem to know best. (See below for resources on the attempted genocide in Rwanda and the attempted genocide of Native American peoples.)
The Nazis collected Jews from every country, state, anywhere they could. To liberal Zionists like me and my Israeli friends, what has happened in Israel since October 7, 2023 is a Gaza-specific issue – a war about security. I recognize and mourn and call out the deep suffering of the Gazans – Palestinians, journalists, and other people there. I don’t avoid the word genocide to downplay the horrific tragedies occurring in Gaza. Rather, I avoid the word genocide because words have meaning. Using the word genocide to describe Israel’s war against Hamas is inaccurate, and it feels purposefully divisive.
I know that the Israeli government, the Israeli military, and the various Israeli police forces of Jerusalem and other cities do unethical and tragic violence against people in the name of protecting Israel. I don’t defend the horrific and sometimes genocidal threats some Israeli leaders have made about Palestinians, today and in the past. I would never defend the crimes against humanity committed by Netanyahu and his crew, AND Israel is fighting a war against Hamas. I do not agree with the way Israel treats the people of West Bank and Gaza, AND Israel is not attacking Palestinians outside of Gaza. This is not a genocide attempt.
My friend Avi reminds me that there are people who use the term genocide to describe Israel, knowing full well how it resonates with many Jews. Using the word genocide to describe the violence in Gaza often causes Jews, Israelis, Zionists, and others to shut down dialogue – no matter how empathetic we may feel with the suffering of the Palestinians there. In moments of clarity when I’m writing on this blog, I wonder what their goals are, especially when they paint all Zionists or all Jews with the same brush. I pray for more interactions that open hearts and open dialogue rather than shutting individuals down or shutting groups out. I hope we can all find opportunities for more real conversations to broaden and deepen our understanding; more dialogues to build relationships.
In conclusion, I hope we can all learn to speak and listen so we can build more understanding. I pray and protest for this violence to be over. I pray and march for the safety of all Israelis – not just because some of them are my family and friends. I also pray for the end of all violence against everyone, Palestinians included – for peace and safety in the Middle East. Of course I don’t want any more people to die – not in the West Bank, not in Gaza, not in Israel, not anywhere. I don’t know how we can build that kind of peace – but I hope more and more of us can work together towards peace and safety for ALL. Truly, I pray that more of our allies join the active war against Hamas.
Here are a few relevant readings I can’t stop thinking about:
The NIF Blog is a great way to learn more about progressive forces in Israel. Sokatch writes well-researched, well-nuanced updates about current events in Israel. I also recommend signing up for their emails.
[Note: I’m teaching The Sunflower on April 23, 2025 in observance of Holocaust Memorial Day. Please join us by Zoom, if you can – through Temple B’nai Israel of Oklahoma City.]
Note: No one is Objective. Nothing is Objective. Some journalists are better researchers than others. Some journalists include context better than others. In addition to grammar, I definitely seek out reliable research and context in my reading.
Many friends have asked me for recommendations of resources on current events affecting Israel, Israelis, Zionists, and anti-Zionists. (This post is not about books. That will be a separate post.) I’m sad I have to repeat this: Not all Arabs are Muslim. Not all Muslims are Arab. Not all Palestinians live in Gaza or the West Bank. Some Palestinians are Israeli citizens. Not all Israelis are Jewish. Not all Jewish Israelis are white. Not all Israelis agree with every policy of the Israeli government or the Israeli police force (even if one of my cousins is part of the Jerusalem police force). I can support Israel, call myself a Zionist, and still disagree with the Israeli government. I can love Israel and fear for Israelis’ safety, and still think critically about how the Israeli military and Israeli police forces protect themselves from terrorism. I can love Israel and my Israeli friends and family, and still care about people in Gaza and the West Bank. Also, Israeli is at war with Hamas. If you are surprised that I am posting this, please know – I don’t want to have to, but every once in a while, I am surprised and disappointed by how ignorant/naive/hateful/narrow some smart people are. (Sorry for the run-on sentence.)
I really believe in lifting up Arab-Israeli, Muslim-Israeli, and Palestinian-Israeli voices. I asked friends for more Palestinian Israelis to read/hear. My Israeli friend Or suggested I read more of Lucy Aharish and Suleiman Maswadeh. Also, Or and I love Renny Grinshpan who I mainly watched for comedy until she became an activist on October 7, 2023. Now, I love her even more. My Israeli friend/brother Niv recommends: Idan Nimsto on Insta and on Twitter/X. Idan Nimsto is probably for the young and young at heart, but this hip, musical Israeli (Lin-Manuel-Miranda-style) teacher made this FANTASTIC video – Give Palestine Back?– You don’t have to agree with it to learn from it.
Haaretz is a liberal Israeli paper which has always included journalists from the non-white and non-religious Jewish population of Israel. Yes, Haaretz costs money, but it’s worth it.
My parents strongly recommend the PBS News Hour on every topic for every American. If you can’t be home at the right time to sit still for live news, you can follow them on social media. That’s a fun mash up of traditional news and “new media.” On Instagram and Threads, they are @newshour. On Instagram, you can also get direct reports from the IDF.
I like + 972 Magazine – I don’t agree with everything they say, even though I’m pretty liberal. I think a lot of Americans like it for their authentically Israeli criticism of Israel’s government.
I also like The Times of Israel. My smart, logical professor Dr. Steven Windmueller contributes to that paper frequently. He loves context and history and research. If you are an American Jew who is wrapped up in American politics and concern for Israel/Israelis, he’s a great person for you to read.
I love the emails from the New Israel Fund. You don’t have to donate money to get their emails, but you might want to. I also like the UnXeptable website for updates and press releases. [UnXeptable started as a grassroots protest movement against the Israeli government, but turned into a grassroots community support org on October 7, 2023. Thanks to my activist sister-from-another-mister Hadar Peled for the connection to UnXeptable way back when it was the Kaplan Street protest movement.] I have heard that “mainstream media” organizations don’t address the situation of the hostages in Gaza regularly, so I recommend visiting the Bring Them Home website and/or Instagram account to find out more – even when there isn’t big news.
For very personal takes on current events, I strongly recommend both Parents Circleand Combatants for Peace. I love these organizations who emphasize working together. These aren’t either Israeli or Palestinian. Both of these organizations lift up voices from all sides of the story. Find them both on all the socials. Please share their stories. They are working towards PEACE FOR EVERYONE EVERYWHERE. Please help them get the attention they deserve for doing the challenging work of building real relationships across borders. [Again, we don’t have to agree with their every word to celebrate their values.]
Friends & Neighbors: Many of you are probably wondering why I didn’t recommend the New York Times. I like a lot of stuff about the NYT. Their games are awesome. I love the magazine and the book review section. I really like Emily Bazelon and Tressie McMillian Cottom. Also, I don’t think the New York Times is reliable on deeply controversial issues like Israel. I’m not the only one to recognize that the New York Times is not as open to the wider world context as people say/expect. For example, here is the full letter that over 180 of the NYT’s own contributers signed and sent about the paper’s on-going biased reporting on transgender life in America. By all means, read the NYT – as long as you read it with your critical thinking skills turned up to 11. There is no perfect newspaper, of course. So, please don’t let the NYT be your only or even main source for news on Israel. NPR and the New York Times don’t always present all sides of the story – partially because the story is over 2,000 years old. Partially because there are more than two sides to this story. See above!
I admit that I’m not super loyal in the way I consume news. In the course of any given week, I’ve probably read articles in all of the news outlets I listed above plus a couple extra ones local to the story I’m chasing. Additionally, for world news, I like The Guardian. Paying for The Guardian is definitely worth it. (I get most of my Ukraine news there, for example.) I don’t read the same papers every day which is why I try to tell my friends to send me articles they really love or hate too. Hint. Hint.
Thank you for listening. Feedback welcome.
May peace prevail on earth – for my people, for your people, for all the people everywhere.
I know that many of y’all are trying to be compassionate. When people talk about the rights of Palestinians without discussing how Hamas treats Palestinians and Israelis, my stomach sinks and my heart breaks again and again. There have been Jews in the Land of Israel since the birth of Judaism over two thousand years ago. There are multiple terror organizations attacking Israel – not just since 1948 and not just since October 7, 2023. Their mission statements are to wipe Israel and all the Israelis off the map. Should Israelis be threatened, murdered, raped, kidnapped? Is it okay for Hamas and Hezbollah to constantly try to kill as many Israelis as possible? Hamas has been treating Palestinians worse than garbage since 2006 at least!
When American liberals talk about Palestinian rights, would they be willing to acknowledge that Israel is the only military willing to fight Hamas? I really need American liberals to give context and nuance to the Israel-Hamas war instead of simply raising up Palestinians as victims of Israel. I acknowledge that Netanyahu/Ganz/Smotrich are terrible and that the Israeli government is doing terrible things.
Can American liberals acknowledge that many of us only noticed the plight of Palestinians since October 7, 2023? Hamas’ oppression of Gaza has gone uncommented on by American liberals for many years. Are the rights of Gazans only important when Israelis are in the news?
Where was everyone who supports Palestinians between 2006 and today? Some of us liberal Jewish Americans have been fighting the Israeli government policies about Palestinians for many years.
Imagine how it feels for us Jews to know that – only when Israel is involved, people speak up….
Imagine what it feels like to hear people constantly criticize Israel without being brave enough to criticize terror organizations like Hamas…….
Israel is an easy target, isn’t it? Hamas is rich and huge and scary. Be brave, liberal Americans. Please address the nuance and long, wide context of the situation. There are still Israeli hostages held in Gaza by Hamas.
(and from Susan in Austin, Texas, USA – I’m the English language editor.)
We know that you have been overwhelmed with requests for donations since October 7th. We promise ours is different.
Hadar and her friend Michal have organized a way to house and care for 8 families from Kibbutz Kissufim in the Israeli South. On October 9th, these eight families made it safely to Michal’s house in Caesarea.
Michal, Hadar, and their friends and family have found a way to provide a home for them – to cook for them, do laundry for them, shop for them, whatever they need. Hadar and a group of friends from North of Tel Aviv are helping make a safe, stable, clean home for them.
So far, the eight families combined are raising 5 kids, ages 2-9 years. The school-age children have been enrolled in schools in Caesarea, but their parents cannot work. Their jobs, their homes, their lives are wrapped up in the kibbutz that Hamas attacked.
These families escaped with their lives, but, on October 7th, they lost their jobs, their homes, their community, their clothing, everything. Hadar, Michal, and our wider circle of friends are trying to provide a sense of stability for their children to adjust quickly and to begin to recover from the trauma of the attacks.
To support these families for the next three months will cost $12k. Twelve thousand dollars will pay for utilities, food, and a safe place to stay for 8 families of 5 children and 7 adults. Soon, one of the moms will be ready to give birth. Hopefully, they will also be joined by one injured grandfather when he is released from the hospital. We want to provide a safe, healthy home for everyone to recover together. Twelve thousand dollars will pay for rent, utilities, food, and a safe place to stay until they can get home to Kibbutz Kissufim. No donation is too small. Every dollar will help.
We are grateful to the folks at Kavod: A Tzedakah Collective for agreeing to help us raise and distribute your donations as well. Special thanks to Aunt Judy for her help directing the funds. You can donate through Kavod at kavod.org. Please write “Hadar/Housing” in the notes so your donation gets to these 8 families. Thank you so much!
With gratitude and prayers for peace, Hadar and Susan
Why can’t the Israeli government help them? Israel is very good at absorbing people who need help, but the attacks of October 7th have displaced an unprecedented number of families. Shelters are overfilled, and supplies are running out. The Israeli government is juggling a huge number of priorities including security, and so private Israeli citizens are volunteering to help.
Why can’t we just give to an established organization? Please do. Every dollar helps. For these particular families, funding this home for the next three months will be the most helpful and meaningful thing to do.
How can we know that you are using this money responsibly? If you have met any of us, you know we are honest and responsible. If you have ever met Hadar, you already know she is excellent at spending money efficiently. If you need more details or more reassurances, please contact us! We would love to help you find a way to support these families directly. (If it makes you more comfortable, we can direct you to more established organizations.)
Why Caesarea and this house? People had to flee the kibbutzim in haste. Survivors from the kibbutz attacks are spread out all over Israel – some in Eilat, some in Caesarea – all over.
Why these particular eight families? These are the ones we’ve got, and Kol Yisrael araveem zeh le’zeh – all of Israel is responsible for each other.
Why do they need a whole house? Why can’t they just stay at a shelter? Because what we would want for ourselves, we want for others.
Rambam, Sefer HaMitzvot, Mitzvah #206
היא שצונו לאהוב קצתנו את קצתנו כאשר נאהב עצמנו ושתהיה אהבתו וחמלתו לאחיו כאהבתו וחמלתו לעצמו בממונו ובגופו וכל מה שיהיה ברשותו אם ירצה אותו ארצה אני אותו וכל מה שארצה לעצמי ארצה לו כמוהו. והוא אמרו יתעלה ואהבת לרעך כמוך. (קדושים תהיו, מדע הלכות דעות פ”ז):
We are commanded to love each other as we love ourselves, and one’s love and compassion for another should be like the love and compassion we have for our own possessions – our body and everything else that is in our domain. What the other [person] wants, I want for myself; and WHAT I WANT FOR MYSELF, I WANT THE SAME FOR [EVERYONE]. And that is the meaning of the verse, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” (Lev 19:18)
שלום מהרצליה וקיסריה, ישראל
(ומסוזן באוסטין, טקסס, ארה”ב – אני העורכת בשפה האנגלית)
.אנחנו יודעים שאתם מוצפים בבקשות לתרומות מאז ה-7 באוקטובר. אנחנו מבטיחים שהבקשה הזו היא שונה
.הדר וחברתה מיכל ארגנו דרך לשכן ולטפל ב-8 משפחות מקיבוץ כיסופים בדרום הארץ. ב-9 באוקטובר הגיעו שמונה המשפחות הללו בשלום לביתה של מיכל בקיסריה
מיכל, הדר וחבריהם ובני משפחתם מצאו דרך לספק להם בית – לבשל להם, לעשות להם כביסה, לקנות להם כל מה שהם צריכים. הדר וקבוצת חברים מצפון תל אביב עוזרים ליצור עבורם בית בטוח, יציב ונקי
שמונה המשפחות יחד מגדלות 5 ילדים, בגילאי 2-9 . הילדים בגילאי בית ספר של המשפחות הללו נרשמו לבתי ספר בקיסריה, אך הוריהם אינם יכולים לעבוד. עבודתם, בתיהם, חייהם נשארו בקיבוץ שחמאס תקף
המשפחות הללו נמלטו בשלום, אך ב-7 באוקטובר הן איבדו את מקום עבודתן, את בתיהם, את הקהילה, את לבושם, הכל. הדר, מיכל ושאר החברים שלנו מנסים להעניק תחושת יציבות לילדיהם ולאפשר להם להסתגל במהירות ולהתחיל להתאושש מהטראומה
על מנת לפרנס את המשפחות הללו בשלושת החודשים הבאים דרושים כ 12 אלף דולר. כסף זה מיועד לשירותים, מזון ומקום בטוח לשהות בו עבור 8 משפחות עם 5 ילדים ו-7 מבוגרים. בקרוב, אחת האמהות צפויה ללדת. יש לקוות, שיצטרף אליהם גם סבא אחד פצוע כשישתחרר מבית החולים. אנחנו רוצים לספק בית בטוח ובריא לכולם כדי להחלים ביחד. שנים-עשר אלף דולר ישלמו עבור שכר דירה, שירותים, מזון ומקום בטוח לשהות בו עד שיוכלו להגיע הביתה לקיבוץ כיסופים. אף תרומה לא קטנה מדי. כל דולר יעזור.
אנו אסירי תודה לאנשי “כבוד: קולקטיב צדקה” על הסכמתם לעזור לנו לגייס ולהפיץ גם את התרומות שלכם. תודה מיוחדת לדודה ג’ודי על עזרתה בהכוונת הכספים
ניתן לתרום דרך “כבוד” בכתובת kavod.org. נא לרשום “הדר\דיור” בהערןת כדי שהתרומה תגיע למשפחות הללו.
בהכרת תודה ובתפילות לשלום, הדר וסוזן
שאלות ותשובות
למה ממשלת ישראל לא יכולה לעזור להם? ישראל טובה מאוד בקליטת אנשים שזקוקים לעזרה, אבל התקפת הטרור ב-7 באוקטובר עקרו מספר חסר תקדים של משפחות. המקלטים מלאים מדי, והאספקה אוזלת. ממשלת ישראל מלהטטת במספר עצום של סדרי עדיפויות כולל ביטחון, ולכן אזרחים ישראלים פרטיים מתנדבים לעזור
למה אנחנו לא יכולים פשוט לתת לארגון מבוסס? אתם יכולים! כל דולר עוזר. עבור המשפחות המסוימות הללו, מימון הבית הזה לשלושת החודשים הבאים יהיה הדבר המועיל והמשמעותי ביותר לעשות.
איך נוכל לדעת שהכסף שנתרום יגיע ליעדו וישתמשו בו בצורה אחראית? אם פגשתם מישהו מאיתנו, אתם שאנחנו כנים ואחראים. אם אי פעם פגשתם את הדר, אתם כבר יודעים שהיא מצוינת בניהול כסף ביעילות. אם אתם מעוניינים בפרטים נוספים, צרו איתנו קשר! נשמח לעזור למצוא דרך לתמוך ישירות במשפחות אלו
למה דווקא קיסריה? למה דווקא הבית הזה? אנשים נאלצו לברוח מהקיבוצים בחיפזון. ניצולים מהפיגועים בקיבוץ פרוסים בכל רחבי ישראל – חלקם באילת, חלקם בקיסריה – בכל רחבי הארץ
למה דווקא שמונה המשפחות האלה? אלה המשפחות שאנחנו קלטנו לנו, כל ישראל ערבים זה לזה – כל ישראל אחראים זה לזה
למה הם צריכים בית שלם?למה הם לא יכולים פשוט להישאר במקלט? כי מה שהיינו רוצים עבור עצמנו, אנחנו רוצים עבור אחרים
רמב”ם, ספר המצוות, מצווה מס’ 206
היא שצוונו לאהוב קצתנו את קצתנו כשנאהב עצמנו ושתהיה אהבתו וחמלתו לאחיו כאהבתו וחמלתו לבד בממונו ובגופו וכל מה שיהיה ברשותו אם ירצה אותו ארצה אני אותו וכל מה שארצה לעצמי ארצה לו כמוהו. והוא אמרו יתעלה ואהבת לרעך כמוך. (קדושים תהיו, מדע הלכות דעות פ”ז)
אנו מצווים לאהוב זה את זה כפי שאנו אוהבים את עצמנו, והאהבה והחמלה של אחד כלפי הזולת צריכות להיות כמו האהבה והחמלה שיש לנו כלפי רכושנו שלנו – הגוף שלנו וכל דבר אחר שנמצא בתחום שלנו. מה שהאחר רוצה, אני רוצה לעצמי; ומה שאני רוצה עבור עצמי, אני רוצה אותו דבר עבור [כולם]. וזהו פירוש הפסוק “ואהבת לרעך כמוך”. (לב י”ט, י”ח)
Bring the hostages home from Gaza. #bringthemhomenow #bringthemallhome
I’ve been collecting sermons and articles and messages because 1. I want to appreciate the folks who are doing this hard, holy, loving work; and 2. I want to share these words. We cannot be silent, and we will stick together.
“Colonizers do not have thousands of years of history in the land they colonize – as the Jews do in the Land of Israel. Colonizers do have a home country that they can de-colonize to, unlike the Israelis.” – Rabbi Rachel Timoner – Shabbat B’reishit 5784 – Response to the Tragedy in Israel https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EKo0rxAZ_hc
From Dr. Rachel Adler – “I’m awed by the courage, generosity, and creativity of ordinary Israelis, protecting and caring for people who have suffered, when your so called ‘elected political leaders’ are about as useful as a broken arm. I hope we in the golah can learn from you.”
From Rabbi Karyn Kedar – “By day sixteen I put on my makeup again. Neutrals to even out the dark shadows. I reached for a soft grey eyeliner, just a bit of definition around the sadness. Mascara of course. So that my eyes would open. I can’t figure out if this is depression or mourning. But my eyes know. They know what they have seen and they know that this is so much more than war. You can eradicate a terrorist, even thousands. But only God knows how to eradicate evil. And God doesn’t know. But none of that is for me to say. I am only a poet, sitting on the lake’s edge. And the sun rises. And the blood kisses the horizon. And the turning of foam into itself. And the autumn tree turned burnt orange catches the fury. And the sounds, never ending sound of the illuminated waves, coming to shore, leaving again, returning again, leaving. And a man crosses the lake standing on a paddle board. I can’t see his features, just a silhouette upon the water, against the framing sky. I want to scream above the sound of the waves, I want to shout straight into the heart of beauty, I want to wail into the relentless sun rising and say: Don’t you know?! Don’t you know!!! This is a dangerous world. And in the morning, on the battlefield, the IDF commander orders his soldiers to brush their teeth and to shave their darkened face, lest they forget their humanity.”
From Rabbi Suzanne Singer – “Please let your friends know that we are heartbroken for them, that we stand 100% with Israel, and that we send them a cyber hug. Praying for peace soon and in our day.”
https://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2023/10/hamas-covenant-israel-attack-war-genocide/675602/ I really like The Atlantic. I know it costs money and the articles are not short. However, I really think their authors/editors are very thoughtful and thorough researchers. No paper or magazine is perfect, but the last time I was mad at one of their articles/journalists was three or more years ago, so I guess they are mostly reliable.
Learning the Hard Way 